Day 161

10 June 2011

I find myself caught in a maelstrom ~ a beautiful maelstrom ~ the maelstrom of my heart, a heart lined with raging and monstrous love for you. Desperation clamours inside me, foaming inside my every cell, lining my mouth with an acrid taste. Sitting at the mouth of cavernous deception, I have only my own cold self denial to wrap myself, and I savour the stinging as it whips itself across my cheek and into my eyes.

I try standing, I try taking flight, only to fall. Backwards, backwards I stumble, and then, flinging myself far from the barbed ramparts of your stormswept and leaden heart. Backward has become my only way forward. But I feel afraid, and cannot deaden the howling of my heart, which has cleaved itself to yours, and refuses to release itself. And so I turn around, delicately place the veil of courage around my heart, and then creep across this web of grief I have woven for myself.



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